Mad Kevin van Veen not only claims he turned Rangers down in the summer (of course he did) but that the club ‘remains’ interested in him despite his epic fail in Holland with Groningen.

The eccentric Dutch striker, admittedly prolific in the Scottish Premiership with Motherwell, has been babbling in the Netherlands press about how great he is, and how the whole of Scotland wants desperately to sign him…

He said:

“Even though I rejected them in the summer, there is still interest. But there are more clubs that find a striker who scored 29 goals last season interesting. I can contact clubs in the entire Scottish League directly, but they all want to loan me while FC Groningen prefers to sell.”

By Scottish league does he mean League One?

He goes on:

“It is difficult for many Scottish clubs to come close to what FC Groningen paid for me in terms of a transfer fee and that is a problem. I thought very carefully about my move and the consequences last summer. I don’t want to be a failure. In Scotland I’m still a hero, I can’t even go shopping normally.”

At least he admits he has basically failed in Holland completely. But apparently he’s like a demigod here…

Lastly:

“I also want to show Groningen who I am. If that is ultimately not possible, life goes on. If an opportunity comes along that is good for the club and for myself, we have to act. But we are still a long way from that.”

Life does indeed go on mate, and hell will freeze over the day Rangers are genuinely interested in a Dutch second division fail.

He really, really is very desperate indeed.