Rangers linked to Erling Haaland. We wish…

Rangers linked to Erling Haaland. We wish…
DORTMUND, GERMANY - NOVEMBER 24: Erling Haaland of Borussia Dortmund celebrates after scoring their sides third goal during the UEFA Champions League Group F stage match between Borussia Dortmund and Club Brugge KV at Signal Iduna Park on November 24, 2020 in Dortmund, Germany. Sporting stadiums around Germany remain under strict restrictions due to the Coronavirus Pandemic as Government social distancing laws prohibit fans inside venues resulting in games being played behind closed doors. (Photo by Lars Baron/Getty Images)

It’s not Rangers, it’s not even Scottish football, hell it’s not even the Europa League.

It is, in fact the ludicrous global phenomenon of Erling Haaland.

And yes, we’re dedicating a piece to this impossibly good striker, this 20-year old goal machine, the only comparison of recent years being PSG’s world cup-winning Kylian Mbappe.

That’s right, we’re Rangers fans here on Ibrox Noise, but we do also like to look at football in general now and then, and what we’re seeing from Haaland is frankly scary.

Take Lionel Messi. When he was 20, he was already becoming a phenomenon too, but his numbers?

14 in 26 in the league and one in 5 in the Champions League. It’s great, let’s not kid ourselves on that that’s rubbish, it was world class. But it really does pale in comparison.


5 in 33 for Man Utd. His numbers when he was young were pretty mediocre.


Last season aged 20, 18 in 20 for PSG, and 5 in 10 in the CL. Absolutely remarkable. Beyond world class.

But then we look at Haaland and he frankly blows all three of these out the water:

10 in 7 in the league, 6 in 4 in the CL. Oh, and 6 in 7 for his country.

And if you thought he was a temporary freak:

29 in 27 for RBL, and 33 in 31 for Dortmund.

This kid, truly, has the potential of becoming the greatest striker who ever lived. He is literally making this sport look utterly easy, making it look embarrassingly easy – he has a gift for finding scoring a peace of cake, no matter who he’s playing against.

That a 20-year old from Norway can make Ronaldo, Messi and Mbappe all look mortal gives some idea of how ridiculous he is.

We’re not saying he will be the greatest player of all time, but he’s certainly going in the direction of it.

What’s it got to do with Rangers?

Not much, but we’re sure Stevie could sign him…

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