In a complete departure for Ibrox Noise, we wanted to give you all a really big giggle. We were sent this article some days ago, as a submission, and we’re still laughing over it. We won’t name or shame, but for those of you who need a little giggle, sit back, and relax with a drink or whatever is your poison, and have a gander at this fine specimen. And if you can make head or tail of it, feel free to enlighten us. So, without further ado, we present:

“Rangers FC New Players: Who Are They And What Are Their Records?”

(and yes, this is a genuine piece, unedited, that we were sent)

…Rangers Football Club Glasgow is a Scottish football club that competes in the Scottish Championship. They are nicknamed the Gers, after Scotland’s Central Belt area, where they have traditionally been based.

Rangers were the most successful club in Scotland for decades, winning 54 major trophies in their history. Those looking to capitalize on this club’s fortunes (and misfortunes) can participate in the action at top online casinos trusted by gamers and licensed by regulators.

2020-21 season recap

As usual, Rangers began their season with a derby match against St Mirren. Rangers won 2–1, a much better result than their last meeting with St Mirren in the season prior when they lost 4–1.

After a fairly uneventful league season, the Rangers beat Morton 2–0 in the Scottish Cup replay. This was said to be the first time Rangers had won a Scottish Cup fourth-round tie since 2009. The rangers were eliminated from the Scottish Cup by Motherwell in the fifth round.

In Europe, Rangers defeated Spartak Moscow and Aberdeen, the latter of which was the first time Rangers had eliminated Aberdeen from European competition since 2005. These wins, however, were not enough as the Rangers lost in the UEFA Europa League to Spartak Moscow.

New players signed

The rangers played against Motherwell last Sunday, who are also near-the-bottom in the league. Rangers won 6-1, putting some space between them and their opponents. Some of the new players that have been critical in the campaign include:

Steven Davis

Steven Davis, 29, played for Southampton and Northern Ireland at the end of his contract with Northern Ireland. He agreed on a three-year deal with Rangers.

Steven Davis was born to a Jamaican father and Scottish mother in 1982. Davis came up through the ranks at Northern Ireland, where he played in the U19 and then the U21 sides. His international career kicked off in 2006 when he made his debut against Poland. He won two caps for his country.

Allan McGregor

“The best keeper in the league – I don’t know how he does it” – BBC Sport, May 2018. Before the season had even started, we were warned. Allan McGregor had this to say about the team, “[The new signings] all want to prove themselves, and I think that is a good thing. It makes for a very competitive environment.

The lads have always been great about that, and it is what you want.” It would come as no surprise that the Scotland man had a lot of faith in his teammates or expected this season to be another successful one for the Gers.

McGregor had another idea about bringing out the best in his team five months into the season: instruction in the pre-match huddle of 10.

James Tavernier

Rangers are currently in a transition period following the departure of Steven Gerrard in October 2018. During this period, the club has been trying to bring in younger players to build a team for the future. During this time, James Tavernier has signed new contracts.

Andy Firth

‘Andy Firth’ signed for Rangers on the last day of the 2017 January window on a contract running until 2019. Firth made his debut in the Rangers’ 4-1 victory over Ross County at Ibrox on 31 January.
The fullback is a veteran of the UEFA Youth League and played in both the UEFA Youth League and Youth League South of Scotland. Firth joined the Rangers Academy from Stirling Albion’s youth system in July 2014.

How they are changing the team

It’s not all great news at the club, as several players, including Alfredo Morelos, Lee Wallace, Eros Grezda, Lewis Macleod, Ovie Ejaria, Daniel Candeias, Jamie Murphy, Ryan Hardie, Filip Benkovic, Jason Cummings, and Umar Sadiq, have all been transfer listed. In addition to the players leaving the club, 11 players are released, including Ryan Hardie, Liam Kelly, Jordan Rossiter, Jordan Turnbull, Chris Cadden, and George Williams.

Rangers FC vs. Motherwell match recap

Motherwell were thrashed 6-1 by Rangers in Lanarkshire as they came from behind.

Bevis Mugabi put the hosts in front following a slow start from Steven Gerrard’s team this season.
Even though the champions trailed with two minutes until half-time, they went into the break ahead.
Gers took the lead on the night when Fashion Sakala headed in a show-stealing goal from James Tavernier.

In the second half, Motherwell had no wind in their sails after the one-two punch.
After Sakala’s second, they didn’t look back after it took them an hour to find the third.
At 3-1, Stephen O’Donnell was sent off before a spectacular Glen Kamara strike ended Rangers’ hopes.
The team’s rout was sealed in stoppage time when Kemar Roofe completed Sakala’s hat-trick.
Gerrard acknowledged Rangers’ indifferent recent performance before a comprehensive win against Celtic, saying: “You have to believe in your players.”

As a coach, I am dedicated to being candid with my players. There’ve been a few times when we have not been ourselves. We have always lacked something. Fortunately, we have players today. They have been outstanding.

Answers on a postcard, folks…