As per our sources, Russell Martin is on his last legs now at Rangers, with the board ready at last to pull the plug on this horrendous mistake.
A mistake Ibrox Noise saw coming, but was powerless to stop.
But no point crying over spilled milk, it’s done now.
So, who replaces him?
Do we trust the 49ers Enterprises to find a proper Rangers manager, a true talisman who can actually take our club back to where it should be?
No idea, but Ibrox Noise will offer our candidates, regardless of current status or any contracts.
The following are a pool of options we would not be against:
Steven Gerrard:
Yes, while he can’t exactly manage, per se, he’s the most iconic manager since Walter and carries the same aura. His post Rangers career has been a disaster, he has no clue about tactics, and he’s not the man if you want intricate coaching. But if you want a serious figurehead the players will listen to, an icon who commands respect, he’s among the best we’ll get. The closest thing to Walter out there.
Kevin Muscat:
He’s got a winning CV, and many wanted him over Philippe Clement – that ship sailed and the rest is history. He knows Rangers, having played here for a bit of a season, and he knows the demands. Whether he’d give up his current gig is another matter. But the boy is a winner.
Brian Priske:
Probably not happening either but he’s the only man to take a club the size and demand of Rangers, down on its luck, and turn them back into winners. Problem is he’s gone back to manage the said club again – Sparta Prague. And he’ll probably have the same success again. Rangers did speak to him but it didn’t happen.
Derek McInnes:
A mature manager now, McInnes said no last time at the 11th hour because he realised he wasn’t ready. Heart had said yes, eventually head said no. He’s ready now – he’s taken Hearts to the top of the table, and if Rangers want him they can have him for the right price. Is he the answer? Fate has had him destined for Rangers for years.
Kjetil Gnutsen:
A lot of folk want the Norwegian due to his outstanding work with Bodø/Glimt but the slight reservation here is his success in Scandinavia was based on taking a minnow and turning them into unexpected champions. Zero expectation and stunned everyone. Quite a different animal to the pressure of Rangers where we want the world already. But we wouldn’t say no to him.
Jose Mourinho:
We were conflicted here. He’s out of work and he’d be expensive. He’s also not won a league in several generations. 2013. But the name is huge and when it comes to no one likes us we don’t care Jose is the epitome of this. He did fail at Fenerbahce though, under similar circumstances to what Rangers are in. But again, we won’t say an outright no here. It would certainly be entertaining – but Rangers face major competition from Benfica who are said to be close to appointing him.
Marco Rose:
Big champion in Austria, did well at Dortmund too, Rose has a winning CV and experience of a must-win club. He’s a good coach and it’s a surprise no one has already snapped him up.
Giovanni van Bronckhorst:
We included this one for posterity – horribly let down by the board of the time, and by the fans, Gio has already said his Rangers ship has sailed. But he’s the best manager we’d had since Walter. Not the same aura and iconic as Gerrard, but just better. He got us to Sevilla for god’s sake. But he’s happy at Liverpool and good luck to him.
So that’s the lot for us for now.
If they’re not in this list they either slipped our mind or it’s a fat no. Barry Ferguson and Sean Dyche are very much in there. So is Danny Rohl.
But don’t listen to us – we only told you over and over that Russell Martin was a disaster….