A group of moonhowling Celtic fans has launched a petition to look into potential doping at Ibrox.
The bonkers page, started by a ‘Jim McPhail’, is hopefully tongue in cheek, but does have 154 signatures at the time of writing, so clearly momentum is gathering.
In short, the petition demands an investigation into, effectively, why Rangers are so good, and suggests that performance-enhancing narcotics have been smuggled in and are doping the Rangers players to be bigger, better, fitter, and faster than their rivals.
Says the blessed Jim:
He’s got a point – we’re just so good now, how can it be legal?
But of course, this is the kind of mentalism we have come to expect from our glorious country and the absolute muppets who breed here.
Yes indeed, this guy seems to truly believe there’s doping going on, because good old fashioned ability and high quality training could never produce results like these.
We’ll leave the final line to Mr McPhail:
On yersel Jim.