Thistle accused of intimidation tactics on Rangers


For once we are not going to moan about the match, but about Partick Thistle’s intimidation tactics. This monstrosity was clearly witnessed harassing James “Cafu” Tavernier at Firhill as he tried to swing in yet another pin point set piece, and the report is said to have been made by referee Crawford Allan to be sent to the SFA in the morning.

The creature, said to be called “Kingsley”, was deployed in a bully-boy tactic by Alan Archibald in a bid to upend Rangers’ glossy football and sharp attacking, and as you can tell from this frightening image captured on CCTV, the method may have worked.

Kingsley will be used in further home matches by Thistle to frighten the life out of anyone who comes near him, but there is said to be little truth in rumours he is on Rangers’ manager Pedro Caixinha’s list of prospective new signings.

Which is a shame, as many would start him ahead of Martyn Waghorn.

NB/Disclaimer: Yes, this article was idiotic, fictional, and just a bit of fun, and yes Rangers secured UEL today thanks to the win. But it did not feel much like a victory.


  1. Waghorn looked as if he had just finished a double cheeseburger and large fries x 2 plus a six pack before galloping on to the pitch. Shocking display.

  2. I would play David Bates at right back and free up Tavenier who is comfortable taking the ball in tight situations, can go past players and create opportunities.Having said that it seems like we have gone from too much possesion football with few chances to just lumping it up the park.Not at all impressed today, give me Warbutons good confident pass and move through the two thirds and then something positive in the final third. Today was dire, I switched channels at half time to watch Forrest and then back for the final 15 minutes. Sorry but there is no sign of improvement here, players look lost.

  3. Broxi would easily kick the crap out of Kingsley. Bring it on!
    On another note, great goals but a shameful performance. How Pedro can keep leaving McKay out is bewildering. Davie Cooper would be proud of that goal.All McKay needs is a massive kick up the arse.

  4. Really wish fans would lay off waghorn. He's a fairly limited player trying his best. His effort level has been higher than some others…such as entire midfield.

  5. So at last we can say we are back in Europe, I can hear Mr King shouting about this wonderful achievement, I can hear him asking for more support through season ticket sales, but hurry, we almost have a waiting list, I can even hear him say that he is going to invest a huge sum of money, say £30M on top of the £50M he has invested over the last few years and while he has been securing all this, all the legal / tax cases / unfair dismisal and imaging/merchandising issues are well and truly behind us oh and another couple of small matters that no one talks about have also gone away………total pish of course just like our chances of getting to the group stage in Europe unless of course Mr King is telling the truth. J

  6. Talking of tactics I was really happy when ped changed it up yesterday. def made us a lot stronger, everyone keeps complaining about this and that but it's good to see someone who isn't scared to change the system when it isn't working and with what players are on the park. Bring a cb on when one Down may seem weird but I thought it was quiet effective yesterday. It def kept thistle from playing there game since they had to change to counter it. And then another change when Wilson went off, personally I think it gave rangers a huge advantage as the game was progressing

  7. Whilst still wary in hailing Pedro as the way forward its encouraging to see he is at least targeting defenders and if he can get that right it will be a major step in rebuilding the team. As for McKay I would ditch him for whatever money we could get as too often he flatters to deceive and he never in the big games looks interested.

  8. My god we celebrated the goal against Thistle as if we had won a cup final. It is a truly shocking state of affairs. I cant wait to get this nightmare season out the way but I am very apprehensive about what lies ahead. Only bright light is a Euro trip with potentially 10000 fans travelling if we get a decent draw. Cant wait for that.

  9. It was poor in a lot of areas , Bates was exposed by Wilson they need to get a pair that works at the back . Not sure what Windass was supposed to be doing at all. Europe beckons it is where we want to be , but not with this squad . No money again in the pot due to lots of reasons …

  10. One things for certain I'm sure some of the non performances on the park went unnoticed.. Tavernier should be dragged over hot coals for that Thistle goal it all started with him pulling out of making a challenge.. Foderingham might've improved but one things for sure there is better keepers than him in the SPL…I know the defence has to protect him but he commands hee haw in the box and he couldn't lace the Goalies boots.. Tavernier must be sold

  11. Its coming to it when teams like 'the Jags' can intimidate and frighten us lol, mind you that is one scary motherfucker of a thing, almost as despicable looking as Griffiths…..

    On the game its self, I thought it was the tightest and most competitive Glasgow Derby we have played in since the Queens game….sadly we are just a couple of places above Thistle, but on that showing it is about right…sorry Ped but you 'got out of jail free' yesterday and I guess McKay isn't playing for some reasons. A:He wont be in the plans for next season or B: We need to de-value him by not playing him so clubs interested might think twice about splashing some cash and we can keep him for free or C:The other players were getting upset that someone was actually willing to buy him, that's not on, considering all the rest will be 'Two for a Pound, two for a pound'


    • Or it's cause he's asked to be the biggest earner at the club and when ped said no he downed tools the other week at ibrox of all places and was hooked off since. But then last week ped said they would be having a meeting this week and that certain players (sounded like Mckay) had to prove they deserved to still, and then he comes off the bench and does something he hasn't done for months…
      I still don't think he's worth £25k a week though

  12. One club we should be keeping an eye on right now is Hearts. Is a player clearout and/or manager clearout on the cards there? Wonder how long Cathro will last. The team were cruising when he took over, but it looks from the outside like some of the players want him gone. One thing’s sure, he could do with featuring on an episode of Extreme Makeover. His hair belongs in a museum, and the clothes are not much better. Cathro reminds me of a guy I went to school with at 16; whenever you'd go to visit him, he'd be in his bedroom – curtains closed, Football Manager playing, and the room always smelled of sweat, stale fart and sperm. The room only got an airing when his mother opened the door to hand him a mug of tea and Digestives. The modern-day manager should like he’s got his shit together. Pedro has it; I just pray there’s some substance behind it. Cathro’s paleness, the crazy hair and the grey wardrobe….I can see why Levein likes him. He looks like he's heading for the grave. But you don't work for Rafa Benitez or Valencia if you've not got some special coaching ability. If Cathro gets the axe soon, would he be interested in some sort of role at Murray Park alongside Murty? To the young kids, he’ll just look like another old guy (aged 30). I hope our board are looking at the possibility.

    Whether he stays or goes at Hearts, a player clearout there seems inevitable, so I hope we make the most of the opportunity. Since Hearts’ form has dipped, their players’ valuations might have dipped too, and they have quality in that team. One of many I was impressed with is the lad up front, Bjorn Johnsen; the times I saw him anyway, he looked a beast in the air. Apart from Garner and maybe Hill, we don't pose any aerial threat right now. I’d like to see one or two bigger forwards come in (Johnsen's 6ft 5), as well as a tricky player with quick feet who can get us more free-kicks in the opposing half. Dunno but our best hope of beating Celtic in next season’s OF games might be via set-pieces – a weapon we seriously lack in our arsenal right now.

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