Sunday, 31 May 2015

"And the award of biggest Ibrox failure goes to..."


Well there are certainly no lack of candidates for this Hall of Shame following today's abysmal failure to get promoted (or even score) at Fir Park. Before I continue, Ally McCoist is immune here, he has his own ‘special’ place in the annals of failure and it has all been said before. This is from a playing perspective, and to that end Rangers have been swamped by a glut of absolutely woeful signings/performances these past three years.

Ibroxnoise.co.uk has gone through these with a fine toothcomb to bring a final chart of ignominy, the top 10 farces to have stained the proud blue jersey these past 36 months. Readers will undeniably have their own lists, and may wildly disagree with this one, including the winner, but we can all agree there has simply been far too much rubbish.

On with the list:

10: Nicky Clark. Yes, poor Nicky came to Ibrox with that infamous 42-goal streak from his QoS days, under the pressure of having a famous father ex-Bear in Sandy and while not quite an Ostenstad or Jeffers, has been a complete failure who simply never had the ability to play for a club the size of Rangers. He never made the step up, never looked composed, and the best of his game was running at opponents to make a nuisance of himself. But his quality in the final third was ghastly, and despite his mighty 8 goals domestically this season, it is safe to say he has been a monumental disappointment and belongs in League 1.


9: Nicky Law. The other Nicky. An exciting signing, Law looked the business for the first few appearances in the ‘trialist’ period, and coming from second-placed Motherwell (at the time) was a player fans were genuinely optimistic about. Unfortunately, thereafter he has been absent, presumed missing for about 95% of his Rangers career, failing miserably to assert himself on matches and offering little more than some goals. For a ‘hard working, attacking midfielder’ (as he described himself to me once) he does very little of the label, and simply never provides assists. Law has been a total let-down and with numerous rumours linking him with a move away, that is a divorce most fans would welcome.


8: Lee McCulloch. Let us be honest, in his first season as captain he was actually ok, playing up-top with Little in a reasonable partnership. But that was the Third Division. In League 1, as a defender, he was a shambles, yet not until the past month+ has he finally lost his place. This season has been a complete disaster, and fans’ patience finally ran out when he was booed at Ibrox v Falkirk, following yet more hapless defending. Overall a complete liability offering next to nothing from 2013 onwards.


7: Bilel Mohsni. While producing some absolutely stellar displays, he has equally produced moments of insane madness and utter complacency, letting himself badly down in the process. He looked good initially, but slowly but surely his inability to concentrate emerged and despite his dominance in the air, his lackadaisical attitude has been a real problem, and he has made some catastrophic howlers on several occasions.


6: Kris Boyd. He has scored some goals but by and large has been an excruciating flop the second time around. He admits it himself, and the Boyd we knew up till the end of last season has been replaced by an absolutely horrendous pretender, who simply cannot score any more. As the season wore on he got picked less and less, until eventually McCall more or less froze him out and has him benched every week. A sad one, but a failure nevertheless.


5: Arnold Peralta. Bet you forgot he even existed. His 18 months at Ibrox were some of the most embarrassing I have seen. For a supposed no-nonsense defensive midfielder he spent more time rolling around on the floor pretending to be injured than working hard. His narcissism on Twitter and his general prima-donna attitude was not countered by quality on the pitch, and he was cut loose before he became any more of a laughing stock.


4: Emilson Cribari. It takes something to be a worse defender than Lee McCulloch, but one-time captain (yes, he did indeed wear the armband once) Cribari was maybe the most feeble and ungamely defender I have ever seen at Ibrox, and made Big Bertie look like Baresi. Cribari, coming from Napoli, must have had too much Neapolitan ice cream because he seemed frozen on the pitch, slow, and unable to read the strikers. An absolute stinker of a player.


3: Anestis Argyrious. Yes, another you may have forgotten – this young Greek might just have been the most clueless looking player I have ever seen anywhere, not just Ibrox. He did have a little skill, and pace, but he had absolutely no idea what to do, did not speak a word of English, and just appeared to be playing his own game, with zero idea what the gameplan was. He was like a headless chicken, not looking up and and not communicating.


2: David Templeton. For what we thought we were getting, Temps has been an utter, farcical, painful disaster. His pathetic attitude was summed up at Palmerston when, after he had suffered a second foul, simply stopped playing, not ‘fancying’ it. Templeton is one of the most frustrating players to play the game north of the border – the lad has the tools, and the pace, to be dynamite, but unfortunately his fuse is damp and he would prefer to waste his potential away with a lack of heart. The boy is a chicken on the pitch, and only one other player has been a bigger disappointment in the past 36 months.


1: And that player is Ian Black. Yes folks, our winner is the former Hearts midfielder, who came to Ibrox with that ‘tough man’ attitude but acted more like a ned than a strong tackler. Numerous red cards and appalling discipline punctuated his time at Ibrox, as did that scandalous betting outrage, and again he is another who did not back up his many failings with a performance. He did do marginally better around August-November 2013, but in 36 months that really is not enough, and only him being an ‘Ally pal’ kept him on the pitch. Kenny McDowall’s one decent contribution was ditching this fool. Even now I can remember how hated Black was following the Jelavic assault, and was disgusted by Rangers signing him, and was equally disappointed with how many fellow fans were pleased at the time.


And that, is yer lot. Honourable mentions to Kevin Kyle, Francisco Sandaza, and Ross Perry, while the likes of Jon Daly, Cammy Bell, Richard Foster, Steven Smith and Kenny Miller have probably done just about enough to remain on the right side of this list.

27 comments:

  1. now they are seen for what they are, moshni must never play for any football team again. not only this pub team rankers but any team.

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  2. you missed Cammy Bell and that's excluding today.....cannot think of one game when his saves were crucial to Rangers getting a result...definitely overrated

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  3. oh dear you need to revise your list ... moshni might make number one arsehole now ? sacking him tomorrow might get a bit respect back ? so sad Rangers have come to this.....

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  4. I was 1 you would've been 'disappointed' at because I was really excited about us signing Ian Black but I agree with the blogger that he has been the biggest flop of them all. Fair play to Motherwell today they deserved it. Rangers aren't good enough to go up its as simple as that. Stuart McCall for manager!

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    1. Excuse me! You were really excited about signing Black? You would like Stuart McCall as manager? Do you wish to perpetuate our acquaintance with mediocrity. I applaud your congratulations to Motherwell, but If you are that easily excited could I suggest you are destined to a lifetime of ecstasy - stamp collecting, train spotting, shovel collecting, watching grass grow.

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    2. If you ever watched Black play against us for Hearts or Inverness then you would understand why I would be optimistic about the signing. especially since at the time we were a 3rd division side. Stuart McCall inherited that side so any criticism of him is a bit unfair. Give the man a fair crack at the whip with his own team before you be judge, jury and executioner.

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    3. Do you mean when, for example, he intentionally crippled Jelavic. His role is to break up play from a 5-man midfield. Not what club like Rangers need. Please explain what aspects of Stuart McCall's career make him a viable candidate to lead Rangers into a new era? Many millions will be invested to revive the club. If that was you money, be honest, would you trust someone with McCall's record?

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  5. McCoist is not "immune." Along with David Murray, White, Green et al, they caused the demise of Rangers. Yes the team is woeful. Going on about it serves no purpose.A few years ago the Opposition coming to Ibrox felt they were a goal down as they ran on to the pitch. Nowadays it is worth a goal of a start. The spine of a team is vital to get right. Goalkeeper, commanding centre back, centre forward, along with a playmaker on each side. All these positions need new blood. I do think Murdoch, Walsh, Allan if Rangers get him and a few others could be wonderful players. But it has to start with a new manager and a scouting network.. Naming a new manager and a Director of Scouting would be a good place to start. And it should be happening tomorrow. There is an enormous amount of work to do.
    PS. The Motherwell player who pushed Mohsni deserved a punch in the mouth. Erwin struck the Rangers player and the guy retaliated. End off.

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    1. Delete murray from your comment!! We all went for a ride with him unfortunately he got mugged by whites lawyers as has and will be proven!!

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    2. Murray is one of the major contributors to our downfall. On an ego trip throughout!
      'Mugged by Whyte's lawyers', are you really so gullible as to believe that. Rename Murray Park ASAP.

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    3. Allan won't go to Rangers, it is a step down for him

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    4. New Manager, players and director of scouting all cost money. Where is coming from? So far King has given us nothing apart from borrowing more money from the three bears to pay wages. His puppet Murray is a free loader who again has put in nothing. Its been months since King got voted in were is the money Mr King eh??? Mark my words this is beginning to smell like Whyte and Green again

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    5. Pathetic excuse to try and blame david murray for today !! He got rode,! Same as we did the last 3 years by sir ally and his motley crew aided and abetted by the crowd of spivs funded by ashley!!,,,shame of it is!! We are still getting rode by sir ally and his spivs!!

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  6. FFS lets calm it down. The season was, as her majesty once observed 'anus horribilus'. We can now all reflect and be joyous that the mediocrity has passed. Its the dawn of a new era and we have much to look forward to. Gone are the Laws, McCullochs, Bells et al. In the true spirit of the game lets congratulate Motherwell on survival. Honestly, would you rather be in their position or ours? So, be gracious in defeat and move on! One year on, Motherwell, Hearts?? Over to you and your board Mr King. We wait with expectancy, pen in hand but no direct debits or cheques committed to! Massive task for a new management team, as virtually all of the current paying staff are tainted and unpopular.

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  7. At last a painful last, what a fucking dismal shit has ever worn a RFC shirt these so called WATP players want throwing out the door,remember our we will drop down and bounce back?, think the same applies to Man Utd losing to Nuneaton Borough for fucks sake, I never want to see or hear of that tory bastard McCoist and his mansion with a great garden,McCall has to go to think the shits are once again going to win the league,King you need to get going now not just to go up but the same landslide as Hearts, Davies is my choice but for fuck get it right.

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  8. Stu says .... now don,t laugh cos he,s trying to save his neck .... they had three goals that were deflections ,if we had a deflection we could have won .... eh .. WTF..... Bottom line is it was 6-1... 6-1 to the second from bottom of the spl.. oh and ... I was never told when I came here we had to go up !! Sorry ma ribs are hurting now. bit obvious that going up somehow would be a priority.... .... lol... oh and we beat Hearts and hibs .... eh but they were still above Rangers in the league at the end ! ...... what a pillock...... Super ally and super Stu ..... lol... and as for the zoomer above who reckons the motherwell player deserved it c,mon it was out of order but you can,t justify his over reaction .... end off indeed....

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  9. agree with many on the list, I am however going to have to stick up for the strikers. I feel for them as the problem with them is much deeper rooted in the team. boyd, miller, clark and even the likes of daly weren't missing sitters week in week out, they weren't getting chances to put away. How many assist's have come from the middle of the park. Only a handfull, how many times has black, law, hutton or whoever drove at a defence then played a pass that's split them open. I cant really remember a time thats happend even in the lower divisions, if anyone can recall a game i'm more than happy to look it up but i bet their wont be many. Rangers lost all creativity from the middle of the park when they sold mcleod. Drew totally agree on your point about bell, when rangers had mcgregor and alexander and celtic had foster and motherwell had john ruddy i'd say bell was the best of the rest while he was at kilmarnock. His height is a really weak point an it's been exposed by the obvious shocking defending infront of him. Todays blunder was the worst mistake in a big game by a rangers player i think i have ever seen, it was almost laughable. And a final word on moshni, the guy is a lunatic. Fair enough you can make the point he was provoked but in my view a rangers player should not react in such a way to a childish reaction from irwin as moshni didnt want to shake his hand. Now we are going to have to face the SFA as are motherwell as their fans conduct during the game and after the game was shocking. At the end of the day mosni's actions could have sparked a riot and people take their kids to the game not to see brawls but the game which is supposed to bring us all together. Sad day to be a ger, have to pick ourselfs up for next season. Hopefully make some good signings this summer and get some exciting football at ibrox for a change.

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    1. Motherwell fans have always been an inward-looking parochial lot. Where will they be next year? Another play-off? Team has been woeful all season so, lets be charitable, they deserve their day in the sun. They are a tight community. Don't travel much. I've noticed their big-eared, excitable supporters. Note to Lanarkshire council - try to broaden the gene pool. Good luck next season Well fans.

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  10. 2 games now against motherwell and 2 games of punting the ball in via foster or wallace !! With no end result!! Management change tactics ?? No!! Keep doing same !! ,,,when was the last time law actually played the ball forward??,and murdoch sits behind him ffs!!,,we lose lose lose lose always because there is no craft in rangers .....nothing ,zilch....so easy to kill when your theoppo manager,,,,

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  11. Solution,,,, rid every single coach and player at every level!!!,,, Replace with the most sucessful system in the world,,,,, German......... the most sucessful country in the world, domestically and internationally,.... We are rotten to the core,, and need to ripped out from the root, and replaced,,,,,,,, rotten rotten rotten,,,,,,,,,,, we are a fucking laughing stock to the world,,,,,,,,,,, fuck you Rangers,,,,,,,,,,, you let every fucking one of us down!!!!!! fucking disgrace!!!!!!!! im so ashamed to be a rangers fan today,,fucking ashamed!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. Same as I replied above, this all costs money, where is it coming from??
      Mr King has had plenty of time to put money in and so far he has put in nothing, Murray has put in nothing. Three bears group have given us a loan. King is trying to get out of paying Ashley his dosh £5m. This is whyte and green all over again.

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  12. Plain and simple "just not good enough" clean house get some decent players in to bolster the kids we have and lets see if we cant "play" some football next season. Oh and Bell never has been a Rangers quality keeper we would have been better off keeping Alexander

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  13. The whole affair has been laughable from the start and the 6-1 defeat was always going to happen. There has been no quality on or off the park for years.
    It matters not who "runs the club" or whoever is signed - the whole infrastructure is wrong. A first step would be to recruit some directors because they have credence, not because they espouse the "cause". Given the boardroom shenanigans, the complete lack of transparency and the utter waste of money on less then average players, what else could have been expected?
    If there is to be a top-flight future - and that is questionable in the short term - how will it be achieved? Put some quality on the board, find someone with money to invest and use the money wisely.

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  14. Reading the list of flops camny bell coudnae catch the cold...scared to come off his line and take pressure of defence ... to be honest would u keep any them or mcall. we need a director of football to over see first team reserves and academy.. then good coaches for each level

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  15. What about "player of the year" Darren McGregor with most assists for the opposition in a season and apparently triggering a new contract with the amount of appearances he has made ,jesus wept

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  16. Fran Sandaza didn't make the list?

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  17. the team on the park yesterday and last week have let the club from top to bottom down sack the lot and start again, lets get on now with helping the board rebuild our club,iv been a fan just over 63 years now and hope to see a other great rangers team before i hit the grave, no surrender and watp,,

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